If I Had Legs I'd Kick You Reviews

eraserhead but for chicks

brothers, I am fucking stressed out

8.8 - Another movie that has burrowed in my brain & won’t let go. I know these types of stories aren’t usually crowd pleasers but something about a moving & well written “we’re all just trying our best” story gets me.

It’s not necessarily complex or particularly deep but I can’t quit thinking about it. It’s a two hour panic attack led by Rose Byrne’s absolutely Oscar nomination worthy performance. The humanity & empathy pulled from her performance amongst one of the most elaborate, teeth grinding, fist clenching, (dark) comedy of errors stories in the last few years is immaculate.

Not sure how it connects with non-parents vs parents, & not sure it’s one I can genuinely recommend to any but a select few who I know don’t mind sitting in the discomfort, but I loved every heartbreaking moment.

Holes, holes, and more holes. I can't recall the last time a film made me purposefully feel so much nauseating frustration. The camera work, sound work, dialogue, and acting all intertwine so well in achieving exactly how motherhood can feel, and I feel most people, men specifically, will still struggle to grasp an understanding of why. More so with the film's sharp symbolism, satire, and surrealism. Being able to recognise and relate, regardless of the experience required, shows the exceptionality within the writing and directing enough. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Honestly, I might bump up the rating on a rewatch.

That kid was so fucking annoying holy shit I hate kids 😭😭😭. i know they were trying to make this movie as overwhelming as possible and they really hit the nail on the head casting that kid cause her voice was like making me tweak out. Fucking whiny brat omg. I really like don’t feel good after watching this. Why is your therapist your coworker? That seems like not allowed. Why was she not referring that was girl to a different therapist or like a mental hospital?. Like suggesting she go on meds is not doing anything she’s clearly out of it. How was this more stressful than like a safdie movie. That’s crazy. A$ap rocky is so hot though.

What

there was a collective sigh in our tiny, mostly full theater after the final shot. followed by a gentle “jesus christ” from the guy above me.

and that folks sums up what i’m able to process about this film experience at this time. rose byrne is phenomenal and there should be more discussion about this.

I’m actually not okay, I think I’m having an anxiety attack

Jesus.

Same feeling I got when I watched Beau is afraid, insanely chaotic and stressful

From the very first frame to the very last frame just pure stress

NO FUCKING JOKE THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Conceptually, this movie is fantastic. Byrne is absolutely phenomenal. However, I found the cinematography to be abhorrent. Did not like some of the technical decisions made throughout this movie. I completely understand the intent behind them, they just did not work for me

Overwhelming and confusing

Amazing work by Rose Byrne.

this movie was awful. no closure to a single thing that happened in the whole movie. the actors apart from the main girl and asap rocky made me want to rip my hair out 💀 2 hours i’ll never get back bruh

This was freakier than Weapons. Anxiety inducing movie. Do not recommend if you have misophonia. I’m exhausted. Great birth control movie.

This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, real nightmare fuel. I don’t ever want to have kids.

i need a vacation after this

5/10

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a dark, awkward indie drama-comedy that leans hard into emotional chaos. Led by a raw, intense performance from Rose Byrne, it explores motherhood, anxiety, and burnout in a very uncomfortable but honest way.