Caught Stealing

i’m about to sexualize a man in a crazy way so don’t read this if you know me.

as an og carrie diaries and switched at birth fan i have loved austin butler for a long time. he will always be a forever crush because of those shows but in the recent years he has fallen through the ranks. with the whole elvis thing and his voice. and him having the whole “i want to become a serious actor so take me seriously” thing that i don’t fuck with like have fun. but i take MOST of the negative things that i’ve said back. not all but a lot of them. did i say that “he’ll never be as fine as he was to me back then”, yes i said that, did i say that “i don’t want him on my screen”, okay fuck you maybe i said that but i take it back.

i saw a tiktok saying that if you like whiney men watch this movie cause it’s for you. so obvi i watched it like hello

that man is so bad. he is so fine. down so his gorgeous natural teeth he’s so fine. his charisma and that fuck ass mouth has won me back over. not to mention HIS BODY IS FUCKING TEAAAAAA. i didn’t know there was a horny scene is i knew that i wouldn’t have watched it with my sister. but both of our mouths were DROPPED WE COULDNT BELIEVE IT. idk what tf they put in his fucking tighty whiteys but it caught my attention idc. he’s so fine. he’s just so charismatic and it really don’t take much for me imma be real

also his eyes i don’t fuck with blue eyes, it’s not the color of his eyes but the shape of them. the shape of his eyes are so gorgeous so when he looks up i’m literally wagging me fucking tail. “body tea, my coochie good, i would let him under the hood” is a real thing i just said to my friend abt him and im sorry for that.

i am misandrist DOWN, like for fucking sure (until i watch superman) so when a movie comes out and a man makes me feel like this i literally feel guilty so i need to turn off my phone for a few hours and reflect.

oh i forgot the movie was pretty good but nothing to really talk abt

Never really took off. It was close though.

6.57

Many people say they were disappointed in this, and I don't really see why. Sure some of the dialogue is very cliche, but it's a very entertaining watch. Butler does a really good job, and I personally loved Regina King in her villain role.

What’s good about this is so good. The acting, the writing, casting. All top notch. I really really enjoyed it. Even as a self-proclaimed Austin Butler hater (hate is strong, maybe disliker is better. The Elvis era was rough), I really liked him in this! He is compelling and his performance is really well-rounded.

My main complaint is the pacing. It is a pretty standard movie time at 107 minutes, but it felt quite long. I enjoyed it all, but there were a couple moments in the middle where I looked at my phone and was shocked to see 45 minutes left.

Pacing aside, this was really solid and the Laura Dern cameo at the end had me smiling from ear to ear. Definitely recommend.

December 18th, 2025
8.0/10