Caught Stealing

i’m about to sexualize a man in a crazy way so don’t read this if you know me.

as an og carrie diaries and switched at birth fan i have loved austin butler for a long time. he will always be a forever crush because of those shows but in the recent years he has fallen through the ranks. with the whole elvis thing and his voice. and him having the whole “i want to become a serious actor so take me seriously” thing that i don’t fuck with like have fun. but i take MOST of the negative things that i’ve said back. not all but a lot of them. did i say that “he’ll never be as fine as he was to me back then”, yes i said that, did i say that “i don’t want him on my screen”, okay fuck you maybe i said that but i take it back.

i saw a tiktok saying that if you like whiney men watch this movie cause it’s for you. so obvi i watched it like hello

that man is so bad. he is so fine. down so his gorgeous natural teeth he’s so fine. his charisma and that fuck ass mouth has won me back over. not to mention HIS BODY IS FUCKING TEAAAAAA. i didn’t know there was a horny scene is i knew that i wouldn’t have watched it with my sister. but both of our mouths were DROPPED WE COULDNT BELIEVE IT. idk what tf they put in his fucking tighty whiteys but it caught my attention idc. he’s so fine. he’s just so charismatic and it really don’t take much for me imma be real

also his eyes i don’t fuck with blue eyes, it’s not the color of his eyes but the shape of them. the shape of his eyes are so gorgeous so when he looks up i’m literally wagging me fucking tail. “body tea, my coochie good, i would let him under the hood” is a real thing i just said to my friend abt him and im sorry for that.

i am misandrist DOWN, like for fucking sure (until i watch superman) so when a movie comes out and a man makes me feel like this i literally feel guilty so i need to turn off my phone for a few hours and reflect.

oh i forgot the movie was pretty good but nothing to really talk abt

8/10 Cool, liked the cat dish names 🤭 also the sound track. Enjoyed the story (man with bad luck comes good), great cast. Recommend.

Sadly, this is probably the most formulaic Aronofsky project yet, and it's a half hit, half miss. The entire cast does a great job, and as much as I appreciate the unique late 90s aesthetics, they don't quite work. The camerawork, cinematography, and humour hit incredibly well. The pacing, plot points, and characters surrounding Butler, Kravitz, and King mostly miss. Overall, it's a decent film, but I hope Aronofsky gets back to his forte. Also, justice for Jenny the donkey, Messi the dog, and now Tonic the cat. All three, and more, have been snubbed from even having an awards category.

SO GOOD BUT WHY DID U KILL HIS GIRLLLL

Much better than expected. The action was decent, the twists were cool and the comedy was good. The story itself was fun but it had its flaws at some moments, where it felt a bit too unrealistic. The main character is very likeable and the acting was pretty good.

8.1/10

Not super impressed