The VelociPastor Reviews

This movie changed my life. I’ve seen it three times. I was asleep for two of those times but the third time, just wow. Visual effects blew me away, I was convinced he was a real pastor. Not to mention all the exotic filming locations. Watch this movie.

cinematic masterpiece!!
the production quality, acting, CGI, and plot was AMAZING i could not believe that it was fake!

i really thought that i was watching something based on a true story!

BEST movie i have ever seen in my entire life 10/10

*this review is entirely satire

Truly an masterpiece of a film. From the stunning special effects to the inspirational action this really is suck a moving piece of media.

The greatest tragedy about this movie is how many people write it off because they think it’s supposed to be serious. It really will make you laugh, and I love the “low budget” look of it. It’s like a 2008 YouTube video that just kept going.

PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER PEANUT BUTTER.

6.7/10 such a dumb movie but it made it good. some scenes are just so stupid that it’s so funny. just made no sense all around but was very entertaining to watch.

BEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER WATCHED, SFX WERE ESPECIALLY IMPRESSIVE AND THE PLOT HAD ME INVESTED FROM BEGINNING TO END!

The VelociPeaker

dont take it serious at all. this film maybe had a negative budget 🤣😭 but i personally loved it as a comedy. 10/10 would recommend

This movie is so bad it’s good. They have such a cheap budget and just pure comedy

somehow worse than it sounds

100/10

Showstopping. A masterpiece. Greatest movie of all time.

greatest movie of the century

So stupid and bad and rad

the perfect in everyway. a 10/10 must watch.

terrible movie. freaking insane premise though. absolute insane premise.

*sfx car on fire*

She’s fine !

I understand that there is obviously irony here and all my points (5/10) that go to this movie are entirely from the comedy of just how self aware and terrible the movie is but unfortunately lots of movies that are terrible and self aware of that don’t do it for me, this included