House of Wax Reviews

Man, this shit was HELLA GNARLY 🌝💀 Like genuinely… WTF. This movie is so fucking gross, and I mean that as a compliment because I think the practical effects do this movie SO much justice. The whole premise of turning actual people into wax figures is already disgusting enough, but this movie does not shy away from showing you just how horrifying and nasty that would actually be. There were multiple times I had to look away, and I was literally trying to eat while watching this and eventually just gave up because I was so fucking grossed out. 😭🌝 If you have a queasy stomach, PLEASE stay far away from this movie.

And honestly, it kind of makes sense that Bo and Vincent grew up to be psychopaths because their childhood?? 💀 Your mom has a whole-ass house made of wax, a creepy wax museum attached to it, and also a whole damn sub-basement connecting the two?? Those kids were doomed from the start. Even if their mom wasn’t turning people into wax, wax figures are creepy as hell on their own. Imagine growing up surrounded by those things. 🌝

I actually thought the movie itself was pretty good. It has a very late-’90s/early-2000s horror vibe that I really enjoyed, and the practical effects were easily the highlight for me. The kills are creative, nasty, and surprisingly detailed. This is absolutely the kind of movie where you can tell the filmmakers wanted you to feel uncomfortable, and unfortunately for my appetite, they succeeded. 💀

That being said, the main girl was STUPID as hell. 😭 Like genuinely, she was pissing me off for most of the movie. Her brother—super fucking fine btw😍—on the other hand, seemed pretty smart and resourceful, but there were definitely moments where I felt like they intentionally made him dumb just so the plot could move forward. I HATE when horror movies do that. The dumb character shit is just lazy writing.🌝

The supporting cast was okay. I’m honestly just gonna call the boyfriend Dean like his character from Gilmore Girls because I cannot remember his actual name in this movie. He was lowkey annoying as hell, and when he died, I was more grossed out than sad. Like, mf this is what you get for being HELLA nosy. Mind your fucking business. 🌝 The scene where he’s messing around with that weird animal carcass/fetus-looking thing in the glass and then was fucking laughing? YOU ARE fucked in the head, bro. 💀 That was NOT funny. That was a red flag 🌝 then the audacity to call for help as the lights go out like you know, you’re about to die right…? The signs are all there dumbass. 🤨

As for the other characters, I didn’t really care about them either way. But you know what? Paris Hilton ate her little screen time. 😭 Her character honestly fit her vibe really well—I don’t mean that in bad way. But I could totally see why they cast her for this role 🌝.

Overall, I liked House of Wax. I didn’t LOVE it, and I definitely don’t see myself rewatching this shit because it was genuinely disgusting 😭🌝 but I can absolutely appreciate what it was going for. If you love gore, practical effects, and movies that are determined to make you physically uncomfortable, I’d definitely recommend it.

If you have a weak stomach, though… STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE. I BEG YOU. 🌝✌️

Okay, I’m out.