House

“The Girls Wake Up… When They Are Hungry.”

Am I high?? Cause what in the actual fuck was that, I just watched the movie equivalent of a fever dream you have at a sleepover when you’re 11.

House is a very special case of a movie, as in a movie itself, it’s amazing, the jokes are Monty python level, the direction is unlike anything you’ll ever see, and my favourite part, the vibes are fucking immaculate.

1st Act 9.2/10 (The beginning of the fever dream you gloss over when telling someone, but still implement the key details, literally describes it perfectly.)

2nd Act 9.5/10 (Shit starts hitting the fan and all you can do is watch in absolute confusion as what’s happening looks beautiful, but is the equivalent to an Evil Dead gag.)

3rd Act 9.8/10 (I have no idea how, but the same movie that has flying trees being Kung fu kicked by a Japanese teenage school girl, manages to have the symbolism that represents DEATH AND CONSUMPTION.)

Plot 10/10 (If a movie manages to represent cyclical death and consumption in the same hour as a man spontaneously combusting into a skeleton cause the guy he’s talking to doesn’t like watermelons, then I think it’s worthy of a 10 when it works, and it sure as hell does.

Soundtrack/Score 10/10 (You could literally watch this movie with the intent of it being a visual album and you’d still enjoy it.)

Acting 8.8/10 (Nothing too spectacular that will blow you away, but nonetheless great.)

Pacing 9.3/10 (Doesn’t get slow at any point, but doesn’t rush, so it’s a nice even pacing, also there’s a whole 10 minutes worth of side plot that ends for just one gag, so maybe a 78 cut without the character and have him in the extended cut?)

Cinematography 9.7/10 (Shit should not be as good as it was, but I guess that Japanese cinema for ya.)

Character Development 8.9/10 (Took some time to get all 7 of the main girls down, but you get the names down before it’s too late, gotta love my homegirl Kung Fu.)

Writing 9.8/10 (Monty Python Meets Shakespeare Meets Sam Raimi.)

Ending 9.4/10 (SOME MEDIUM ENDING SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.)(Love endings that go into the philosophical deep end, but maybe make it an ongoing theme and not tacked on after the big reveal.)

Direction 9.5/10 (Nothing like anything you’ll ever see ever again, and for that it deserves high marks.)

Overall
113.9/120
What it deserves by objective ratings - 9.4/10
What I think it deserves by personal impact and enjoyment - 9.6/10

I absolutely love horror and unique/creative/weird movies but what the actual fuck was this. Seriously.
The only good parts about this was about 1 min of visuals and that it ended.
I actually checked a couple of times to see if I was watching the right film from how bad it was.

this movie is awesome and has some absolutely insane, trippy visuals
i absolutely loved the group of friends, they were all so sweet and adorbs :( the story and symbolism was really interesting too AND I LOVED THE EVIL KITTYYYY!!!!!!

Visually insane

5.3 - Was hoping to palate cleanse all the recent children’s animation & also close another blind spot with a classic - unfortunately I hated every moment of this. I get the hype & could see how it picked up so many fans. Weird & unsettling can do that easily. But this was not for me this time.

I’ve never done acid, but I imagine the experience would be something like this. Crazy colors & weird vision quirks, & a fun & light & happy mood, quickly devolving in to horror as my house eats me & my friends.

I almost feel bad for not enjoying this. I feel like its success opened up a whole new sub-genre in horror comedy. And I know it is meant to be experimental & psychedelic, but instead of being able to lean in to the weird, I mostly just wanted it to end.

Credit to the mostly unknown, essentially child actors for solid performances. And credit to the haunted house elements themself, how the house lived & breathed & attacked almost as its own character, extending from the aunt.

Happy to check a box & never have to look back at this one.

Real weird but fun 🤩